Take a listen at the link directly below this sentence, and download a copy if you like (and throw the band a little cash).
This week, it’s a song intended for a young female singer–maybe late teens, early 20′s–who is trying to maintain a reasonably “nice girl” image, and yet find her own identity. And rock out a bit.
Back in 2004 and 2005, Val and Jon Spaihts and I were meeting once a week, trying to keep our creative juices flowing by making *something* new every week. Jon had not yet become a famous screenwriter; Val was still contemplating a book about her experiences on the road with GrooveLily, Cyndi Lauper, and Joe Jackson; and I was doing web design (well, email newsletter design, mostly) and trying to keep my songwriting muscle in shape.
I got a couple of verses and choruses done in 2005, and brought it in–but I had made an odd choice which hampered clockability. Here’s a rough draft of the first verse and chorus:
she got the earring, nose ring, lip ring, nipple ring
jump up on the bar and belly dancing in a g-string
body shots, burning hot, bringin’ on the bada bing
ain’t nobody stoppin’ her from doing her thing
but that technique
that technique
that technique
might work for her
yeah well, that technique
that technique
that technique
don’t work for you.
Note: who’s talking to whom about what? Which? As I explained to Jon and Val that night, the idea is that the singer (girl A) is telling girl B (a nice girl) that girl C (a lascivious biddy) is making her way through the world in a manner which is not appropriate for girl B.
Jon and Val quickly talked me out of having such a complicated relationship between three characters. Who cares about all that, they said. It’s a pop song.
Consequently, when Val and I brought it out of the trunk this year, Val sunk her teeth into it, wrote an entirely new bridge lyric and last verse, and made the following tweaks to the chorus:
but that technique
that technique
that technique
might work for her
yeah well, that technique
pussy cat technique
that technique
don’t work for me.
And it’s much better. The “pussy cat” line changes with each verse, and it make me happy. Collaboration is good, let me tell you. It’s far too easy to get one’s head stuck way up one’s hiney when one is writing by oneself. Check out the whole lyric here.