Hear more musicRecorded on 08/15/08
Recorded by: Milburn & Vigoda
Written by: Milburn/Vigoda
Valerie Vigoda: vocal
Brendan Milburn: vocal & keyboards
As creators of a brand-new musical, we reserve the right to keep reworking some things. Therefore, since we're rewriting a little portion of Act I, we're going to skip over our early draft of that section and go right to the end of the act. Julia is all grown up and out of the house, leaving HOPE and CHARLES with, it seems, not that much in common anymore. CHARLES starts taking frequent business trips; HOPE has an affair with one of her co-workers; CHARLES finds out and confronts her angrily. This hostile encounter unleashes long-suppressed emotions in both parties and leads them to the topic they never speak about: the death of their first child. In this song, they finally have it all out with each other.
Brendan Milburn: vocal & keyboards
As creators of a brand-new musical, we reserve the right to keep reworking some things. Therefore, since we're rewriting a little portion of Act I, we're going to skip over our early draft of that section and go right to the end of the act. Julia is all grown up and out of the house, leaving HOPE and CHARLES with, it seems, not that much in common anymore. CHARLES starts taking frequent business trips; HOPE has an affair with one of her co-workers; CHARLES finds out and confronts her angrily. This hostile encounter unleashes long-suppressed emotions in both parties and leads them to the topic they never speak about: the death of their first child. In this song, they finally have it all out with each other.
Lyrics
HOPE
Well I remember
Every inch of the boy you used to be
And I memorized you
That's how much I loved you, how much you meant to me
And I don't recognize you
You put that boy away up on the shelf
There's nothing of him in you, nothing of you in him
You're flat, you're a cardboard cutout of yourself
CHARLES
Then you, you did it to me
I had to keep my sadness on the inside
I had to ground myself
I had to take control
You were a basket case after Buddy died
HOPE
Don't do this, Charles.
CHARLES
You were a zombie
You weren't eating
Week in and week out
You're barely breathing
We had to go on and I'm the only one who even tried
HOPE
Don't bring Buddy into this.
CHARLES
Don't you dare!
Don't you dare
Tell me not to talk about my son
It's been twenty-five years
And that's long enough for me to have to hold my tongue
He was my son too
You can't just erase him
Pretending he never existed -- it's such a crime
Well you're smothering his memory
What kind of mother do you pretend to be?
With this silence,
It's like you're killing him a second time
HOPE
I can't love you without erasing him
Without eradicating every single trace of him
'Cause when I looked at you, I saw what might have been
I saw his face
My choice was clear -- it was my son or you
No room inside my broken heart for more than one of you
So if you bring him back, then I am done with you
He takes your place
And if I could touch him again
If I could talk to him right now
If I could hold him in my arms
I would erase every speck of you right here and now wipe you
Off of the face of the earth just like that you'd be gone
I can't love you
Not now, not anymore
There's nothing left between us now that's still worth fighting for
We screwed it up too much
It's time to close the door
And leave no trace.
Well I remember
Every inch of the boy you used to be
And I memorized you
That's how much I loved you, how much you meant to me
And I don't recognize you
You put that boy away up on the shelf
There's nothing of him in you, nothing of you in him
You're flat, you're a cardboard cutout of yourself
CHARLES
Then you, you did it to me
I had to keep my sadness on the inside
I had to ground myself
I had to take control
You were a basket case after Buddy died
HOPE
Don't do this, Charles.
CHARLES
You were a zombie
You weren't eating
Week in and week out
You're barely breathing
We had to go on and I'm the only one who even tried
HOPE
Don't bring Buddy into this.
CHARLES
Don't you dare!
Don't you dare
Tell me not to talk about my son
It's been twenty-five years
And that's long enough for me to have to hold my tongue
He was my son too
You can't just erase him
Pretending he never existed -- it's such a crime
Well you're smothering his memory
What kind of mother do you pretend to be?
With this silence,
It's like you're killing him a second time
HOPE
I can't love you without erasing him
Without eradicating every single trace of him
'Cause when I looked at you, I saw what might have been
I saw his face
My choice was clear -- it was my son or you
No room inside my broken heart for more than one of you
So if you bring him back, then I am done with you
He takes your place
And if I could touch him again
If I could talk to him right now
If I could hold him in my arms
I would erase every speck of you right here and now wipe you
Off of the face of the earth just like that you'd be gone
I can't love you
Not now, not anymore
There's nothing left between us now that's still worth fighting for
We screwed it up too much
It's time to close the door
And leave no trace.