Unpacking The Suitcase

Listen to the song
Recorded on 08/15/08
Recorded by: Milburn & Vigoda
Written by: Milburn/Vigoda
Brendan Milburn: vocal & keyboards
Valerie Vigoda: vocal

CHARLES and HOPE have just returned from their honeymoon. They’ve done the crossing-the-threshold part. Now what?

Lyrics

HOPE puts a suitcase down on the floor.
CHARLES
Um, not right there
Okay, we'll find a little closet space somewhere
It's just that I'm--I'm so used to having lots of room between the bed and chair
I don't mean to be a jerk
I want this to be your home
But could you not put that right there?
HOPE
Uh, okay...
(She moves the item to a different part of the room.)
CHARLES
Dit dit dit dit dit! That's my pacing area.
HOPE
Got it. I'll be back in a minute.
(She exits to the bathroom.)
CHARLES
Oh I meant to say
The toilet paper should go on the other way
From underneath, so it's easier to spin, if you don't mind, if that's okay
I don't mean to be a jerk
I want this to be your home
(HOPE returns and gives him a glare.)
HOPE
Uh-huh.
CHARLES
That's really all I had to say
HOPE
I know this is small
But could we talk about the picture in the hall
And do you think, could we take the frat-boy poker-playing dogs down off the wall?
I don't mean to be a jerk
And I know this is your home
CHARLES
OUR home.
HOPE
But they don't work for me at all
And what about your cornflakes bowl congealing in the sink?
CHARLES
What about your bright red bra that turned my boxers pink?
HOPE
How can you not notice when the garbage overflows?
CHARLES
How can you keep talking during all my favorite shows?
HOPE
Please don't leave the toilet seat up
CHARLES
Please don't turn the goddamn heat up
HOPE/CHARLES
Look at us, we just got back and the bloom is off the rose
HOPE
I know, I know--what's done is done
Confetti thrown and flowers flung
So how do we not screw this up?
Tell me what do we do?
I don't know what comes next
Tell me if you've got a clue
CHARLES
You're asking me?
HOPE
...I am.
(CHARLES had better rise to the occasion.)
CHARLES
Always communicate.
HOPE
Even if it's small?
CHARLES
Always be honest.
HOPE
Even if it hurts?
CHARLES
Don't keep any secrets
HOPE
Unless they protect us.
CHARLES
I don't know if I agree with that...
HOPE
It's okay to disagree.
CHARLES
Unless I'm clearly right.
HOPE
Of course.
CHARLES
...hey?
HOPE
Hey what?
CHARLES
...good luck.
HOPE
...good luck to you.